| If you ask any military spouse who has endured a | | | | one the better for you and them. |
| deployment or a brief separation from their service | | | | - Cereal for dinner. One very wise spouse clued me in |
| member you will probably find at least one thing in | | | | when she learned I was still cooking dinner. Life got a |
| common. Something will always break, explode, get | | | | whole lot more simple when I finally got out of that |
| lost, get stolen, become attached or unattached | | | | habit and on some nights served up some Cherrios. |
| very soon after they leave. It's as if there is a | | | | - Engage your support team. It's difficult and they |
| strange "separation phenomenon" that only happens | | | | know it. The right support team will encourage you in |
| when your spouse is in Iraq, BMT, Afghanistan, out | | | | this and be a bright spot for you. Make sure the |
| to sea or some other place where you can't text | | | | team you select supports the military, supports the |
| them to come and figure out why the toilet is | | | | work you do as a military spouse and knows when |
| overflowing and where the shut off valve is. What's | | | | to be quiet and let you vent. |
| even more bizarre is that you will probably never | | | | - If you don't have kids, yaaay for you! This just got |
| have these issues again. | | | | a little easier. Now is the time for you to focus on |
| When my husband deployed to Afghanistan recently, | | | | some goals or projects you've been procrastinating |
| within the first month I fell down the stairs and | | | | on that can be a source of pride for you and him |
| broke my toe. My baby boy had some health | | | | when he returns. |
| challenges that, though weren't serious in the grand | | | | Post-separation. He's baaaaack....and so is your sanity. |
| scheme of things, were definitely inconvenient. And | | | | Now plan a great reunion: |
| my 3 year old suddenly aged 13 years and knew | | | | - Get excited, but be aware that there is still a |
| way too much about how to help me care for him | | | | readjustment period. What was normal without him is |
| (Mommy, he doesn't want that, he needs his | | | | now weird with him. So give yourself some time to |
| paci..???). If it's your first deployment or separation | | | | reestablish a new routine, especially if you have kids. |
| you may be surprised at how these things unfold, | | | | - Get smaller kids ready with a "fun things to do with |
| and at how well you will handle them. So read on for | | | | Daddy " list.. If you have toddlers, saying, "Daddy is |
| your battle plan, and if you're an experienced warrior | | | | coming home in 2 weeks!" probably won't do since |
| I know you're nodding your head in agreement. | | | | most toddlers don't know 2 weeks from tomorrow. I |
| Predeparture. Your deployment survival depends | | | | prepared my daughter by asking her what things did |
| heavily on your preparation. Your spouse is key here | | | | she miss doing with daddy. Then I asked what she |
| to help you get yourself together before he leaves. | | | | wanted to do with him when he returned. She came |
| Establish a list of contact numbers, ESPECIALLY to | | | | up with 5 things and then we repeated that during |
| people in his unit. Your husband's unit is ultimately | | | | the weeks leading up to his return. It wasn't until we |
| YOUR unit too so get to know them! Get a tour of | | | | were at the airport that she realized he was really |
| your unit before he leaves. Ask questions, find out | | | | coming back. |
| who the commander is, the first sergeant and his | | | | - Plan some fun family time, but don't overdo it. You |
| immediate supervisor. Shake hands and lay eyes on | | | | don't want to tour the city, and go out every night |
| the people he serves with because you serve with | | | | and not appreciate the fact that he's actually home. |
| them too. | | | | - Plan some adult time. I'm a believer in marriage as |
| During separation. Now that he's gone, you will quickly | | | | the most important human relationship you will ever |
| adjust to life with a new "normal". Here are some tips | | | | experience. Therefore, I advocate...do what you need |
| to help you and your children through the tough | | | | to do to get alone with your man! Do you have a |
| times: | | | | basement? Use it! A garage? Make it work! A |
| - Stay attuned to your child's behavior and actions. | | | | babysitter? Even better! |
| Talk to them frequently about the separation and | | | | Separations can be difficult but with the right plan, |
| help them deal with their emotions. In this day and | | | | resources and tools you can be successful. And if |
| age of technology, no longer do they have to wait 2 | | | | you go home with family during the deployment, |
| months for a letter! We Skyped with my husband, | | | | revel in the blessing of having so many people around |
| posted online videos and made a "countdown | | | | you to love on your children, on you and to help you |
| calendar" with stickers for my daughter. | | | | through it. |
| - Schedule, schedule, schedule. The quicker you're on | | | | |