| The call was similar to most. A young gal called | | | | military. Currently, there are over 11,000 troops |
| stating that her marriage was at the failure mark. | | | | serving under this policy. Now what? |
| Despite her husband being home from Iraq for the | | | | With each deployment, the strain on marriage |
| past two years, he was still "checked out." There | | | | becomes more unbearable. Marriage failure in our |
| was no emotional bond anymore and the only way | | | | military is truly the "untold casualty of war." Currently, |
| they seemed to communicate was through loud, | | | | there are 2.8 failed military marriages every hour - |
| angry, sometimes screaming "conversations." All he | | | | and this only accounts for our active duty troops. |
| wanted to do was sleep and drink beer - his days at | | | | This doesn't account for those that are in our Guard |
| work, when he did work, were long and his pay didn't | | | | and Reserve who leave service after days or weeks |
| cover the needs of their seven member family. They | | | | of returning from combat and end their marriages |
| sought counseling but had a bad experience with the | | | | weeks or months later. |
| chaplain's office and because he served in the | | | | So how does one avoid becoming a divorce casualty? |
| National Guard, there were no "counseling" benefits. | | | | Small groups. According to the Smalley organization, |
| As a matter of fact, there were no benefits, period. | | | | which is a faith-based organization, when a couple |
| As she put it, "he came home, they debriefed him | | | | engages in a small group, the marriage satisfaction |
| and that was it - it was like, 'thank you for serving, | | | | rate goes up 73 percent. This is vital when the couple |
| we're done with you; go home.'" | | | | re-engages after a deployment. Military Ministry, |
| The story seems to be a sad repeat, just a different | | | | which is a division of Campus Crusade for Christ, |
| couple. And while this is not representative of all | | | | makes available a "Bridges to Healing" series that |
| returning Guard and Reserve troops, it does hold true | | | | deals specifically with solutions for combat trauma. |
| for too many. | | | | Preparing on the front end is even more important. If |
| More than forty percent (40%) of our military forces | | | | you know you are about to walk through a mine |
| in Afghanistan and Iraq are made up of National | | | | field, it only makes sense to follow in the foot steps |
| Guard and Reserve troops. In the early years, most | | | | of a couple or couples that have walked the field and |
| of these families were ill-prepared for deployment - | | | | made it. Find your baseline as a couple by taking a |
| especially the Guard. It was well-known that anyone | | | | Couples Checkup Do this before you go and after. |
| who joined the Guard would serve their state, not | | | | The "checkup" is designed to identify your strengths |
| the federal government. Not the case any more. And | | | | as a couple and build on them. You can also search |
| while these families began to adapt to the idea and | | | | for an expert in your area to help walk you through |
| the sudden lifestyle change of a single deployment, | | | | this. |
| they now have to adapt to a life of multiple | | | | To truly avoid being a casualty, you need to prepare |
| deployments. | | | | both on the front end and on the back end. It will |
| Recently, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, | | | | take work. Operation Military Family provides a |
| Adm. Mike Mullen shared that the Army's stop loss | | | | blueprint for success based on other military families' |
| policy won't end any time soon. Also called the | | | | experiences. Follow in the footsteps of those who |
| "backdoor draft," this policy allows the Army to retain | | | | have succeeded and you improve your likelihood of |
| troops beyond the date they are due to leave the | | | | succeeding as well. |